Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What we want

As most of you probably know, I spend alot of time emailing, chatting with, responding to moms who fear DS for a particular reason, who are pregnant with babies who have been diagnosed with Down syndrome or those who have just had a baby and received a diagnosis. Each time there are different things to be said, and I often think I should compile the responses. So far I haven't, but tonight I re-read one that I'd typed up earlier this evening and just had a feeling I should share it here. I get alot of lurker traffic and I know many of them come after searching a variety of Down syndrome related things on Google. Who knows when someone else may benefit from something said. It's humbling to think so... but it's worth everything to even possibly help someone or save a tiny precious life. So for what it's worth, here are a couple excerpts from my comments to the latest new mom that I've talked to. Please be praying for her and her precious baby. I realize it may not make complete sense, but I felt it important to keep out the identifying pieces and other quotes that she said. She does not have a definitive diagnosis, but she is quite fearful... and she's 22 weeks.

I have no doubt that this baby is exactly what you need, no matter what the chromosome count may be. You said, "I am just not sure if this is what I wanted from this pregnancy," but let me put it this way... I'm guessing you wanted a child. You probably wanted a little cute bundle to nuzzle on when she's falling asleep. You probably wanted to dress him or her in the most adorable little clothes and take pictures at the first haircut. You probably wanted a child to watch splash in the bathtub and crawl down the hall with no diaper after the bath. You probably wanted a little buddy to help you bake cookies or rake leaves or decorate the Christmas tree. I would guess you look forward to the first day of school and to showing her the ocean for the first time on vacation. You surely were looking forward, with fear possibly (!), to the teenage years and the phone calls and friends coming over. And you may have looked forward to high school graduation, as you cry tears of joy at the accomplishment. IF (and it is a big IF) your child has DS, she will still be able to do ALL those things!! You'll ADORE your child. Just like you share the kicks and squirms that she is making right now, you'll share countless moments of special glances and smiles between mom and child.

Since you asked for our two cents... I'll summarize this way... you've got a beautiful baby inside you right now. He or she is moving, growing, feeling pressure when you happen to push in the right spot, and she can hear what you say to her. She has eyelashes and fingerprints!! How exciting is that! That means that she is the only one like her anywhere! :)

Much love to you and your precious tiny one. :) I have been and will continue to be praying for peace and wisdom for you.


  1. outstanding. but you knew that. i can't think of a better advocate to be reaching these moms at their most overwhelmed. perfectly said.

  2. Tears. I wish you had been there for me when we had our prenatal questions. It would have helped me realize sooner what I'd hoped and have come to know. Beautifully put. Thanks for spreading the good word.

  3. I have tears too! I love your way of expressing your thoughts. God has given you a gift and I thank Him that you are using it to advocate for our children!

    I'm not sure if you "know" Libby from Blessings and Glory, but she is giving away either "Gifts" or "Roadmap to Holland" for those with a new diagnosis of Ds. Maybe you could include a link to her blog with your notes. She has a button that you can place on your blog too.

    The URL is http://blessingsandglory.wordpress.com/ or you can link to it using the button on my blog.

  4. Wonderfully written! Thank you for posting it here, too. I hope all goes well with this new mother and her baby.

  5. absolutely wonderful! Go glad you posted it on your blog. I'm sure you'll save some lives with that letter.

  6. RK...I know exactly what you are refering to and you have been blessed with a gift to have other see a beautiful world through your eyes and words.

  7. i love your post!!! it is so true. as a mom to be you think of all the activities you'll be able to do "one" day and whether or not your child has ds you can do all those things that "one" day. they are kids like any other kids.

  8. Very inspiring and comforting words and so very beautifully written.


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