Just RK

I’m not upset about turning 40 today.  I get a little solemn sometimes around birthdays and anniversaries for a few reasons that I don’t know if I’ll elaborate upon or not. But it’s not the aging part.  I feel good about my age.  And as I’ve looked through some old pics, I think I haven’t changed all that much, but for the better when change is apparent…  don’t ya think? Cheesing with new glasses 2001: Age 28 2013: Age 39 Dressed up to party 2002: Age 29 2013: Age 40 (minus 6 days) So here’s to the next 10… or 20…   who knows. But the best is yet to come, I think.

I’m watching House Hunters International on DVR while I veg a little and fold laundry.  This episode is filmed in Singapore. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I am a big fan of Singapore.  I did an internship there after college (17 years ago!! What??) and have always wanted to go back.  It was *such* an amazing place.  The most beautiful, CLEANEST, and hottest place I’ve ever been.  I met some of the most wonderful people there. I had the worst sunburn there, also. The equator can do that. But Sentosa was worth it. One of the shots of the couple doing the house shopping is of them trying the “chicken rice.”  It’s not chicken AND rice, just chicken rice . The caption people got it wrong. (Kinlee insists—and has for a couple years—that she *always* be able to read along with every show. Non-negotiable. But since she’s a 4th-grade-level-reading 3-year-old, I won’t argue with her methods, no sir.)  Yum… chicken rice was my favorite go-to meal...

Kinlee picked up this picture today out of a photo album of “baby Mommy pictures” that the girls look through sometimes.  She looked at it for a moment and said, “Mommy, who is this holding me?”  I told her it wasn’t her, that it was me and that was my babysitter and Santa.  She looked at it again, pointed, and said, “No, who is holding ME?” It must be the emotion that’s tripping her up. Or maybe it’s the finger in the mouth.  Or maybe it’s the stylish attire.

Hot Rod. Padre. Pa Beagle. Dad is what I call him most often.  And today he qualifies for the senior discount at the YMCA.  Congratulations! So here’s a little look back at when it was just us, and Mom, of course. But someone had to take the pictures.  From October 73 to Easter 75, when he was a preacher boy in his mid-twenties. Good times. And from June 2011… with Mom, Julia, and the girls.  Happy birthday, Dad.  Hope you have a super great day! And yes, you may link this on FB if you’d like to share your young handsome self with your friends.  (Happy birthday to Marci, too.  Wherever you are.  We still miss you.)

I referenced the tiny-ness of Braska in  this post (And if you haven’t seen it, you MUST !  Big news in our world!!)  So I decided to look back and see just how my girls measure up.  The Normie and the Downsie, not in comparison to each other, though that’s often fun, but according to the “official” growth charts. (ETA: In case you’re new…Yes, we affectionately refer to the girls in that way, as stated above. Yes, we know it might not be everyone’s preference. They are derived of love and pride in both of them, combined with the dry wit that lives in our house, and originating from self-advocates with DS who are proud to own the “Downsie” term for themselves and their close friends.) Braska was 7 lb 0 oz at birth.  At 1 year, she was 15 lbs. At 2 years, she was 19 lbs. At 3 years she was 22 lbs. At 4 years, she was 24 lbs. As of today, at 3 months shy of 5, she is 25 lbs 10 oz  and 36.75 inches tall. (That weight is also a BIG deal!) ...

Back by popular demand, and because this topic has come up on a DS forum I like … here’s my guest post done for M’s blog, which is no longer in publication.  It’s about time we all have a good giggle, and M doesn’t mind if it’s at his expense, just this once.  For real… I asked. From 9/2009~ I don't remember much about "The Great Snip of 2009". Here is what I do remember: They stuck a needle in my arm and told me they were giving me Valium, then I woke up in a stranger's driveway and immediately went unconscious. The following is RK's interpretation of that event. ______________________________________________________ After about 30 minutes, the nurse came to the door and said, “RK?” She looked around the waiting room and I motioned that it was me. She asked if I could come back. I was feeding Kinlee, so it took me a few seconds to gather up the bottle, the diaper bag, my purse, etc. and get to the door. As we walked back, the nurse told me they had give...

As I was looking through pictures of our wedding the other day, I found one that kind of tickled me.  It seems like it was so much more than 10 years ago, and yet—like everyone says—it somehow seems like only a few months ago that they were this age. I’m the oldest of 6 kids. These are my two youngest siblings, Ryan and Julia, at my wedding, waiting in the back of the church before they walked down the aisle as ring bearer and flower girl.  Pretty snazzy little ones, don’t you think? But look at them now… still best buds. Ryan’s 19 and a sophomore in college in Oklahoma. Julia turned 15 on Thursday and is already picturing life “on the outside” after she graduates. Both of them were born after I’d left home, Ryan during my freshman year of college and Julia after I’d graduated from college.  So I haven’t really been around for their growing up as much.  Maybe that’s why it just amazed me to look at the picture from the wedding and realize it was just ...

Here’s a few more of the finds from years ago… Spring 2008. Pretty little bear… this one is interesting because she so rarely does the slack jaw thing. Especially at this stage of her life she was 100% opposed to things in her mouth, so she generally kept it clamped shut! These were taken the same time… I posted the one below here with some thoughts that really are cool to look back on. Now the little girl I thought would be so neat is here, and she IS pretty great. And the famous announcement shirt… the way her daddy found out about little sister… this was June 2008. She was 18 months old. Just scrumptious!

Yesterday I was looking for some pictures on my mother-in-law ’s computer, and as I was perusing her uniquely organized files, I came across some great ones. These are all pics that probably were posted long ago on Braska’s blog , but they’re definitely all worth bringing to the front again.  I smiled at each and marveled at what a pretty little one she was.  That she IS, of course. But her little round baby face was just too cute… So enjoy this little walk down memory lane. From the summer 2007, one of my all time faves. Hanging by the pool with Grandma C. Also from summer 2007, with Uncle Levi. Notice the marks on the side of her face.  That was one of our worst experiences with NG tape… she still has a scar from that one.  (I wish we’d have ditched that NG a long time before we did!) From Christmas Day 2007. Just so cuddly, isn’t she?  This was the DAY AFTER she got her glasses, and she was LOVING life.  She came alive in a...

A year ago today, the unthinkable became reality for very dear friends.  I have come to cherish this family, rely on the wonderful encouragement and example that Karol is to me, and it is absolutely invaluable how special they have all become to my girls.  Even in what little time we’ve had face to face, I have been forever changed by the interaction with each of them.    Faith is not something tossed around lightly in their lives. It is something they have had to wrestle with and have come to find it as true in the deepest sorrow as it has been in all the many blessings in their world.   The last few weeks have left me feeling helpless. I want to do something, to be there, to say the right thing.  They are facing this toughest time, the one year mark from the day they lost their precious little ball of energy. But I fail to find that “right thing.”  So I pray often--for their comfort, for their broken hearts, and that they can sleep in the mid...

If you don't have Narrow Ridge in your reader, you should. Tom has a great perspective on many things, especially being a dad to Silvi and Ian, his little one with DS. He's working on a documentary about his son, and today he posted a piece that "got" him last night. If you've been through the surgery of your tiny one, you will relate, and it will bring back many a memory, though it's beautifully simple in it's presentation. It brought back a surprising amount of emotion for me, as I remembered sitting and rocking Braska just before we walked her down the hall to hand her over to the nurse at the door to the OR for her open-heart surgery. She was 3 months old. Sometimes, I still can't believe it.

Tonight I went to visit my sister and see her new dorm room.  She moved to college yesterday. She just decided to do so on Friday. It’s weird enough that this sister, #4 in our 6-kid family, the one who was born when I was almost 16, the one who had just turned 2 when I went to college myself… it’s weird enough that she’s IN college.  It’s weird enough that she’s 20 now.  It’s weird enough that this is her second college, since she went last fall to a different school.  All that’s weird enough in my brain. But tonight, I drove up the street that dead-ends at the college in my minivan with my two daughters in the seats behind me.  I drove onto the campus and pulled into a parking space.  And as I parked in a spot that overlooks the whole place, I just had to stop and digest it for a split second. For it was 18 years ago this weekend, 18 years, that I drove onto that same campus in my 1989 Ford Festiva following my parents in the big orange conversion v...

If you are interested in Part 1, it's here . While I was in Dent County last week, in the midst of driving those memory-reviving roads , I passed a place a few times that held another bit of what I consider to be foreshadowing. Honestly, as I thought about this, I am missing alot of the details about this time in the file drawers of my brain. I don't know why that is. This little snippet of that era is foggy. What I do remember is for a short while I worked at the adult day care facility of what they call Enrichment Services for the county. I think that I had an aquaintence that worked for the ES, and she had asked if I had time to help them since they were quite shorthanded. I really don't remember exactly where this falls in the timeline of things that happened during my three-year period of living in Dent County. But I believe it was after my stint in Mrs. B's class, and I know it was before the opening of the after-hours clinic. During most of my time in tha...

When Braska was born, we were shocked about the news that she had Down syndrome. There had been an abnormal blood test in the second trimester, but combined with the other information from ultrasounds and such, it was decided that the risk was not that much different than my normal risk for age 32. We did not have an amnio because the results would not have changed our course, regardless of what they told us, and I am terrified of needles and would never opt for an elective procedure that uses a big one and invades the baby's personal space. No way. We dismissed the whole thing, for the most part, although I do remember praying after that point that she would not have it. I felt silly for doing so because I was sure she didn't. This is just one more example in my life of how God is way smarter than me. He knew we needed her, just as she is. It took me a while to see that, admittedly, but I got there. I never planned to have kids, for as long as I can remember. The idea ...

I went "into town" with one of my sisters for lunch today. The rest of the family is gone, so we took Braska and Kinlee and headed for Chinese. Town is about 7 miles from the house, and getting there means traveling a couple more of those hilly, winding roads that are prevalent around these parts. Joy was driving ahead of me since she had to go to work after lunch, and the girls were quiet little chicks for the drive in, so I left the radio off and took in the sights as we drove. Just down the road from the parents' place is a corner that I will forever notice. This time it's not for something I was involved in but instead for someone I knew. Sandy was the nurse at the first medical clinic I worked at 12 years ago. It was a new after-hours clinic that was beginning here, and there were just three of us involved: Sandy, Dr. S, and myself. It was a very neat experience overall, and it began my career in medical practice management that continued for the next 11 y...

Yesterday I drove, with the girls and the dog, to my parents' house in rural Dent County, Missouri. There are two ways to get there once you leave Interstate 44--the hilly, winding, curvy way (72) OR the hilly-er, winding-er, and curvy-er way(68). We usually go 72, as someone in our family has motion issues with cars, crests, and curves. But since that particular someone was not with us this trip, and it was good weather, and it was still daylight, I took 68. I used to take 68 every time. When I made this trip home from college. When I went back to St. Louis for things after graduating while I was living in town nearby. When I would come back here to visit after moving back to St. Louis. Highway 68 was the route for me. You see, I'm a driving enthusiast. I love to drive. I especially love to drive good cars, powerful cars, cars with tight sport suspension, cars that respond when you ask alot of them. There has been a passion for cars in me for quite a while. Back in ...

There have been so many times in the last couple weeks when I've thought of things I want to talk about or just throw out there for fun. I need to start carrying a little notebook around with me in order to jot them down. I could put them in my PDA/phone, but I'm not so good with the texting even if it is full keyboard. So here's a few semi-random things that I meant to give some time to... aren't you lucky you stopped by today?? ______________________ December 14, 2006, the day we brought Braska home from the hospital...finally. Then and now. I hope to try to recreate this pic every year. It's the first one after the day of her birth with she and I together. We've come a LOOOOOOOOOONG way, baby....you and me both. _____________________________ I watched a show last week--I won't mention it or link it because I don't want to even accidentally be blamed for endorsing it--that I normally purposefully avoid even though it's watched in the other l...

I've been spending some time looking through old folders of pictures from our previous digital camera. It's fun to see how everyone looked a few years back, to remember the crazy things we did, and how much time we spent with great friends. I thought that as I have time and feel up to it, I'll put some of the old pics up. They're not all flattering, let me tell you, but they all have meaning. This pictures are from 2/15/2003. This is Mindy, Tim, Justin, Julie, me, and M. It was a crazy snowy night in town, and NO ONE was out except the snow plows. But since our small group from church all lived within blocks of each other, we thought it was a good night to hang out and play games. One couple couldn't come, and I'm guessing it was because Brad was out plowing, since that's what he does when it snows. The other three couples of us got together at Justin and Julie's house. I remember that there was alot of laughing, and I remember there were some surprisin...