Just RK

It doesn't seem possible. Two years ago today, we were sitting in the OR waiting room at Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital. Braska was one week past 3 months old. At this time in the afternoon, she had been in surgery for a little over 6 hours, and she still had almost 3 more to go. A bit of nostalgia... This was my last pic of her with an uninterrupted chest. I had such a hard time with the idea of her being forever marked. The thought of the details of the day were too much for me, so I completely put them out of my mind.... or so I thought. But I still took this picture for that purpose... And before we took that long walk down the hall to the doors of the OR. I got in a bit more cuddling. That was the only time I cried that day, as we gave her to the nurse and her daddy and I walked away to go wait with the family. I'm getting teary typing this! How weird is that?! But look at us now... This is how I spent this morning, two years later. The girls and I sat in the rec...

Finally the Valentine's Day layout has been replaced... so no pinching allowed!

If you are in need of a laugh at another's expense, I invite you to read on... really, it's totally ok. I can take it. This might end up long, but I wanna remember this special day. Oh so special... Today is my first day to have both girls and be on my own. Yeah, it's been two weeks, but I'm apparently slow at learning how to deal with this kind of thing. I knew it would be a challenge, but I thought with starting way early, we could make it. The quick ending is that we did make it...but that's not really the whole story. Kinlee's been sleeping til about 9 am or so after getting up twice in the night. That's ok, I'm dealing with it. But since Braska is supposed to be at school at 10 am on Mondays, I thought I better not sleep in like I prefer, and instead, I should get up and get things moving earlier to be sure we're on time. Not a problem, since Braska decided to be up twice last night in addition to Kinlee's two times. One time overlapped...so...

It's been a long week. And yet it's flown by. How is that possible so often? First off, thanks to all of you who have called and emailed and commented with encouragement. I really do appreciate it so much. Thank you also to all of you who have sent goodies and gifts, brought or fixed food, and just helped out in various ways. Special thanks goes to my mom, who spent 10 days of the last 12 here with us. And thanks to Dad and the kids for letting her be away. She went home yesterday, taking Braska with her for a few days. She accomplishes more in a few days around here than I do in weeks. I'm most often not very pleasant when she is around, so she puts up with alot and doesn't complain. Thanks, Mom. I'm definitely feeling better. I think it's a combination of factors, though I'm not sure what to credit with what element of the improvement. I stopped taking the meds after three days, because it was going to take at least 3 weeks for them to begin to ...

Kinlee's doing great. She's sleeping, she's eating, both at appropriate intervals usually. Overall, things are good. Unfortunately, but quite honestly, I'm having a hard time with the same things I dealt with after Braska. For those of you that were around then, it's not as bad, but it's not good either. I call it a postpartum anxiety. It's not a depression, it's like panic attacks. Freakouts, if you ask my husband. They just hit out of nowhere on Friday morning, then periodically I get hit again. It's horrible, let me tell you. I can't explain it, but it is no fun. Friday night I wasn't able to sleep one little bit, well, maybe an hour total between all the attempts. I was a total wreck. Saturday I tried to nap several times but couldn't sleep again. So last night, after having gone home on Friday evening, my mom returned again to help out. I was able to sleep last night, finally, though I haven't been able to nap today....

She's picked up a bit on the feeding, so that's good. She's been performing biological functions consistently, so that's good. She's still cute, so that's good, too. There's more info on her blog if you feel the need...oh, and pics are there too, of course. I'm tired, so it's time to attempt one more feeding and off to bed for a bit. Late-breaking news...we've found a way to wake her to eat. Give her to her Daddy. She seems to not be so fond.

We're home, with the all clear. How are we?? Let's see, does this sound familiar? Newborn girl. Content to sleep all day and night. Not interested in food. Won't wake to eat. Doesn't wake crying when hungry at night. Doesn't complain for diaper change. Doesn't cry when getting shots. Yeah. Good times. At least this time there's no heart issue... All in all, it wouldn't be a bad deal if it weren't for that nutrition and necessary fluid intake thing. We shall see if things improve on the feeding homefront very soon. Otherwise, we'll have to take the next steps. I'm totally fine with the contentedness and good demeanor, don't get me wrong! Just need to eat enough to sustain. She's down to 6 lb 12 oz. One super skinny little thing, that's for sure, with the 21.5 inches. We're employing every type of waking trick. It works enough to see the eyes, make her a little whiny, and then about 60 seconds after she is getting ...

We have had a really good stay and experience here, and that's so nice. We'll be here til tomorrow morning, with M probably going back to work tomorrow. My mom's in town, staying with Braska currently, so she'll be there to help me at home. Braska came up today and was a bit more cordial toward her sister. I'll be putting up some pics on her blog of their little meeting. There are more new pics of Kinlee on her blog . Yes, it's bloggin' nuts. Soon there will be little overlap between blogs...bear with me a little. I'm feeling pretty good. Not too sore, considering. Pretty tired, but what else is new in this situation? It's so nice to have had great nurses. I'll do the whole "birth story" thing when I can. But a neat little note... the second nurse, who was with us all day Monday and delivery time, has a little boy with DS who is 4, or almost 4...I was delirious so I can't honestly remember. He is purely adorable though...

Kinlee arrived this afternoon. She's a peach of a little girl, long and skinny. Things went well, and there are details and pics on her blog at http://kinleecarene.blogspot.com . 7lb 6 oz, 3:08pm, 21.5 inches (though we don't believe that is correct!) Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement! We're doing very well so far!

Just got epidural. Feeling much better. Making good progress but no baby yet. Stay tuned. Must sleep.

It's fun to go to the bathroom with all the contraptions. And then my nurse scans my bracelet to see what I'm worth! At least that's what M thought she was doing... no comment on his comment. But seriously...that gown isn't flattering at all. The IV makes it hard to type, but I'm doing my best to make this labor and delivery as internet/bloggy/geeky as possible. M's across the room with his laptop playing poker and watching shows. We're making this experience special. But now I should rest... so I'll try.

That's when we head to the hospital to start this fun induction process. 7:30pm is when we're to show up and get things going. Last night we spent about 4 hours up there. Not because there were contractions or pain or anything... nothing so exciting. I'd begun to feel bad around 11 am yesterday, really lightheaded and very weak all over. I couldn't really hold Braska, and just felt like a limp noodle. I slept for a while, rested alot, ate some food, drank water, and decided to call L&D at around 4pm. I am fairly famous, as a patient, for not calling to ask about things and not reporting things I should. So I decided it would be just horrendous to get this far and then have something go wrong when I should have asked or told someone about it. So I called, my OB was in the L&D area, so I talked to her. She agreed that it didn't sound "pregnancy related" but that we should still probably check it out if it didn't improve. She said to drin...

Last night, I was treated to a nice dinner and baby-gifting by Adrienne and Julie, a couple DS moms and buds here. We went to Casa Gallardo, always a winner, and had a nice dinner and lots of good chatting and laughs. But....for the ressssssst of the story... There we sit, in a little corner of the dining area, with one other table of two women nearby. Otherwise, the immediate area was empty. Julie had carried in a gift bag, pink and pure baby, and it was sitting on the table on my side. We sat and looked at the menu, finally picked what we wanted, and when the waitress--who looked to be a trainee, with a supervising guy behind her--came to take our order, the ladies deferred to me, saying to start with the "pregnant girl." Seems cut and dried. Pink baby gift bag, VERY pregnant me, comment about pregnancy. We ate our dinner, talked of all kinds of things, caught up on very important issues (tee hee), and then discussed dessert. The waitress and sidekick returned and we...

I didn't even have to beg. She was ready for me to make my requests for an induction date, so she was all prepared. The options were Saturday or Monday... I picked Saturday, no surprise, but the hospital preferred Monday, so we go in Sun night to get things going, hopefully deliver Monday morning. That's the plan. Unless she decides to show up sooner...which is also ok. I'm headed out now to have dinner with a couple pals...mexican. Maybe I can spice Kinlee out of there.

Yeah, that's right... I said y'all. I was raised in Texas and Arkansas with a little Kentucky thrown in there... it's who I am. (Be glad I resisted the "you'uns" of Southern Illinois...ick, never could stand that one.) Ok, since there seems to be a feeling of left-out-ness for a few of you who like more details on the pregnancy, I'll make an attempt. The rest of you can go make your next Scrabble move on Facebook or something. ~I will be 40 weeks on Friday, according to my schedule. According to the OB's schedule, I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow. According to the MFM's schedule, I'll be 39 weeks on Monday. Confusing enough? The bottom line is the math for their schedules just plain doesn't work. Just trust me on that one. ~I go to the OB again tomorrow afternoon, so we'll see. She has previously told me that she would be ok with scheduling an induction for Monday the 9th if I got this far with nothing happening, so that's wh...

The three blogs that won makeovers are now complete. So if you haven't gone to see what they chose and how it all came out, drop by and check them out. The links for the three blogs are Jen ( Schuster Family Shenanigans ) Terri ( Believing in Miracles ) Brigette ( Van Nice Family Journey ) More info on how these are done for those of you who are interested will be coming in the weeks ahead. It's not rocket science... but it is a bit addicting.

... well, that is, if you are in the crowd that chose later than today for Kinlee's arrival. It's been a less-than-fun couple of days, not that I'm squirming-ly uncomfortable, but in that Braska is a snot machine (again, I don't know how you do it--those of you who have to deal with this alot!) and M stayed home from work yesterday sick, slept all day except for when he needed meds and food, and I had the joy of tending to them both. Today, he went to work, but slept at lunch and went to bed as soon as he got home. I guess it's good that we're not in labor at this point, but still. I keep wondering if I get days off ever again... like the real kind. Like when you just do stuff you WANT to do all day. Oh well, my days aren't all that bad, just wondering... And yes, I know it's gonna get worse before it gets better as far as peaceful and enjoyable, happy, fun days go. I'm not *totally* crazy. Still, I'm just weary of this waiting phase. I...

Yes, I can't believe it either, but January's gone. I'm still pregnant, but I have hope at this point that every day is my last day in this particular state of being... let's get going, Kinlee!!! The new backgrounds are up here and on Braska's blog , so peek in, you reader readers! Also, two of the Valentine Makeover winners, Brigette and Jen , have theirs up already... yeah, that's right, I'm that quick! (Terri...drop me a line!!) Plus, I also had time to do one last night during the game for Cheryl . No, she didn't win in the drawing, but she's practically family (officially, one of these days!) so I did a quick one after she picked out her choices. As far as those of you who have asked for tutorials, I do plan to do a little series to share the inside info, but probably not til March if I'm being truthful. It's not all that hard or anything, but it can be time consuming. FYI--to start, it's nice if you have Adobe Photoshop Element...