Monday, March 3, 2008

Random Questions, Round 3


The Random Questions process

~Choose one or all of the questions to answer.
~Either respond with a comment to this post with your answer or put up a post on your own blog for a full response.
~Don't forget to include any funny or interesting story to illustrate your answer in action.
~Be sure to leave a comment on this post to let us know where to find your post so we can come check it out!

This round is focused on home life. I always find myself very interested in what others do when they're not "doing" anything. Weird? Maybe...but there's a reason reality shows are so darn popular!

1. What happens at your house in a given weekday evening? Who’s doing what? (Mom, Dad, and kids--together or separate.)

2. How are the chores divided up in your house? Who does what when it comes to laundry, cooking, cleaning, yard work?

3. How often do you have time with you just you and a spouse, even just a little time here or there? What do you do with that time--talk, work, plan, read, etc? (PG rated, please. HA!)

4. Compared to what you thought it would be like 10 years ago, would you say life in your home is...
~Nothing like you thought it would be.
~Kind of like you thought it would be.
~Exactly like you thought it would be.
~Better than you thought it would be.
______________________________________
As for my answers...
1. M is at his computer as soon as he's changed into comfy clothes until he goes to bed, often after me. Sometimes there are a few minutes of family floor time with Braska before we all go to our corners. Braska and I hang in the kitchen pretending to cook and then we sometimes sit in M's room to watch a show or two from the DVR in there. Then she and I go back to our living room to catch some DVR shows there or to the office so I can work while she plays. Three nights a week M is out geek-gaming with the guys, so on those nights Braska and I just extend the work day til bedtime.

2. On the chores list, my name seems to be by them all. But in all fairness, M has been better (occasionally) lately about unloading the dishwasher or doing a load of laundry. And he does take the trash can to the street on Wednesdays most times too. Lawn and pool care are mine unless I hire out the lawn. Mostly chores just wait....alot.

3. I almost didn't ask this so as not to have to answer it, but I wanted to hear what others do. We don't have any "couple" time really. And if we do, he's usually still at his desk and I'm on the couch as we watch a show or something. We watch alot of TV. We don't talk or so much *do* anything together, but sometimes we do exist in the same room for a few minutes...but that's an improvement in many ways, I suppose.

4. This is nothing like I thought it would be. Nothing like I hope it will be. I still dream about what it'll be like when we grow up and learn to be a family...working together, projects, fun, sharing, learning, and such. Putting our time together first. We'll get there... someday we'll get there.

So spill it...what's it like in your home??

13 comments:

  1. I did it - check out my blog! :)
    So glad you are better - I was worried about you being sick so long!

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  2. Jennifer--Good post!! For those of you that might want to check it out...djshike.blogspot.com

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  3. Appreciate your post RK - we've traveled the same roads, trust me. I posted on my sight (once again, a little lengthy on my part - sorry, I guess I like to talk)

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  4. I'll get mine posted (hopefully tonight) on my blog:
    knittingandliving@blogspot.com

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  5. Jessie--Great post, and the lenghthier the better in my opinion. (spellmanfam.blogspot.com if you're interested, other friends!)

    Jen--I'll be watching for it!

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  6. 1. If we don't have dance or religion class we usually just hang out at home watching t.v. The kids get chased upstairs a lot so we can watch something grown up. Sometimes we go out to dinner. Basically, we're lazy.
    2. I get most of them. I'm trying to get MA to do more. She unloads the dishwasher a lot but doesn't do the dishes. She needs to learn. I've been trying to deligate help with laundry, too. As the family grows, you need more help!
    3. We try to find some alone time to watch t.v. maybe see a movie. Often it's like you. He'll play video games while I play on the computer.
    4. I'd say it's about what I thought, or better. I don't think I gave much thought about it before I was married. Just knew I wanted to be married and have kids.

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  7. 1-3 would take a lot of thought and time, but #4, well I can honestly say my life is nothing like I pictured it would be ten years ago. And that is mostly because Rylie has Down syndrome. This is a journey I never expected to be on,(who does?) not in a million years, but as you know, it's not all bad. I also never expected a third kid. Cesalie was a huge suprise, lol!

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  8. 1. little bit of tv (all), vsmile gaming or train playing (Alexander), DH works a bit, books (The Little Engine That Could, A New Earth, something about Russia, you guess who reads what)diapers and meds, prep meds for am and pre load coffee pot - mama don't like to wait

    2. I despise cleaning the kitchen. DH doesn't pretend to know the bathroom needs regular cleaning. I guess its a good trade off. House chores split fairly evenly, though I do a bit more on a regular basis. DH is in charge of gross bodily fluid messes incuding cat and kid sick and poopy baby clothes.


    3. Now that the house is finally selling we will have had 3 dates in 4 weeks! up from 2 in 2007! Time is very rare and more often than not DH gives his daily work report, I give mine (we call it the poop report). Its sad really. When we do get time, it's valued highly.


    4. ~Kind of like you thought it would be;
    except for the city in which we live, my dress size, having a daughter (boys are very uncommon in the fam), the DS, nothing big.
    ---Jen S.

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  9. Deb--Funny that you said you didn't give it much thought before you were married... maybe that's my problem. I did...I thought and thought and thought and thought. I had it all figured out, planned, imagined, and just knew how it would go. Sure, I knew there would be issues, but I knew we'd work together to get through. That's where I got blindsided. It just didn't go that way. But it would probably be a good thing if even 7 years in I could let go of some of the expectations (dreams?) that I came in with.

    Val (Rylie's mom)--I know what you mean, and yet it's interesting to me that when I was thinking about and putting this together that I never even thought of the DS. I get more caught up in the more basic aspects of my life and my marriage that don't reflect my expectations... hmmmmm. Very interesting.

    Jen S--You're so darn balanced. Look at you go! I love that DH has the bodily fluid duty...good plan!! And we feel special that you spend just a smidge of that "alone time" with us.

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  10. On a typical weekday evening Randy comes home to me cleaning and trying to think of something to make for dinner. Which when we are both so starving, and the girls are hungry it usually ends in frozen pizza. Then after dinner we spend time with the girls and sometimes run errands all together. Then we put the girls to bed and I usually check my e-mail and then watch tv and Randy usually works, or does some house project that he has going. Then we go to bed around the smae time. Some times he beats me to bed because he likes to read before he goes to bed and I just keep on watching my show until I am ready. It is not really "together" time, but it works for us.

    The chores are divided up like this. I load the dish washer, he unloads. I wash ans dry the laundry and then at some point the clean laundry over powers the dirty and we fold it together. Also, he does the outside stuff. Although, I did mow the lawn one time this last year. It was kind of fun:-) All the other stuff just seems to get done by either of us when ever we want it done. We share the work load pretty evenly.

    This is one that is not what I thought it would be. We spend little bits of time here and there together alone, but not really as much as I would like. We go on dates occassionally, but only when it seems like we are at the end of our rope and really need that time together. Mostly I just wish it were a more consistant thing. We used to talk about that we were going to have a weekly date night, I am not sure how that happened. We like to go to dinner and talk or go to the movies together. Just to have time where there is no little ones saying Mommy I need this. Mommy can I have this, or just plain constant noise. Peace and quiet that is always nice:-)

    I will say that our home life is not exactly like I thought it would be. Most things are just as good or better than I thought they would be. But you know when you are dating and you think you need every waking moment to be together and there is always so much fun to be had. You know when you are young with no responsibilities. Well, I kind of thought that the romance of it all would stick around. I know people will tell you that the romance goes, but some how I just didn't really believe that. Not to say that we do not love and enjoy each other it is just different. It's just life, day in, day out. I think it would be great to have some of that romance back:-) I guess that is where the weekly date night would come in handy.

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  11. Our typical weeknight... Well, since you don't know me, I better fill you in a bit so you will better understand. I am a single mother to 4 year old twin girls (will be 5 in Sept.) Jaedyn and Jordan. My drive to and from work, including dropping the girls off at daycare, is almost an hour each way. So, that being said, we don't get home until 6 every night. It is immediately a rush to make dinner cuz the girls are starving by the time we get there. So I cook, we eat (getting them to eat without talking and playing is quite a challenge these days) and it's either bath night for them or shower night for me. Then we try to get in some "mommy" time before bedtime. So, our evenings are hectic and never really relaxing! I try to most nights sit up for at least a little while after they go to bed, just to have some much needed "me" time!

    Chores... ALL ME! Every bit of it. Although, the girls do like to try to help, which I never discourage cuz even though it may actually make the chores take a little longer, they are interested in it and disappointed if I dont' let them help, and also I feel it is a great idea for them to start learning chores while they actually want to! They have actually gotten pretty good at rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dish drain (boy I sure do wish I had a dishwasher, though) and they have mastered folding washclothes. Jordan is a little more ambitious at chores, she also will bring me the bathroom garbage when I am taking the garbage out, and they love to help me bring the can in from the street after the garbage men have come. They have their own little brooms and dustpans and will "help" me sweep the floor, and have toy vacuums so when I vacuum they get theirs out immediately to help! They also LOVE to feed the dog (chloe) and I have gotten them to help me let her out to go potty from time time =)

    I'm not sure exactly how I pictured my life 10 years ago, I know my goals in life were to finish college, get married, and have kids. Even though I didn't finish college until after I'd had the kids and got divorced despite swearing I would never be in that statistic, I still accomplished all the goals I set out for myself. I can say, that even though every day is a struggle, financially mostly, I am very content with my life for the most part. I wouldn't change anything that has happened, not having twins (not that I could change that!) even though I never wanted multiples, not getting divorced even though I never wanted to be a divorcee. I love my children more than life itself and even though they are going through a bit of an ornery phase, God truly blessed me with 2 good little girls. He must have known that I was going to be doing it alone and would need them to be good to keep my sanity! I wouldn't change a thing (except to not struggle so much financially...)

    With the above statements being said, I don't think I can really answer #4!!

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  12. Ooo, Oooo, I want to play:o)

    #1. On a typical weeknight, and when Russ is off shift, we make a point to all eat dinner together at the table. We used to sit in the living room while the girls sat at the breakfast bar and we realized that they never ate. So we decided that we should all eat together, and they eat a smidge better. Usually it's not PB&J, so they are usually not happy with dinner. Afterwards, I either finish up some typing work and Russ watches t.v. in one room and the girls usually watch something in another. If Im pretty caught up, we usually watch t.v. together. Prestrike days, we had a full-on t.v. line-up from Monday through Thursday. We are pathetic:o)

    2. Before Russ became a firefighter, it was pretty much all me. Except a little yardwork. He worked construction 10 to 12 hours per day sometimes 6 days per week. So chores were not his thing, and our lawn looked like a hooligans lived there. Now that his schedule is DRASTICALLY different (24 on/48 off), he is way better at doing whatever I can't get to. And he makes dinner a lot too. Gotta love those firefighters:)

    3. Alone time happens pretty much never. My family used to babysit a lot for us so we could have date nights, and its a lot harder to get anyone to want to babysit for three girls than it was for two. I think since the baby has been born, we've been on like 2 dates, and one was our anniversary. But like I said, we are t.v. freaks, and we do usually watch a variety of shows together, if you could call that any kind of couple time. Usually we will have a cup of decaf and a little chocolate and call it a date!

    4. I would say it is a mix. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and a wife. I just never new it would be so hard. I thought I would be the person that would have an immaculate house, dinner would always be homemade and on the table, and my kids would always be perfectly dressed and never sass me:) But the house is in a constant state of dissaray, dinner is on the table, but it is usually from a box or made by my husband, and my kids, well, lets just say sometimes they look like they just rolled in off the street:) Things are looking way better since Russ's schedule is a lot more conducive to me:) Before, I felt a little out of control. So, even though I wish we had more time to ourselves than we do, I am still moderately happy with life. I would change a WHOLE lot if I had 1/2 of an ounce of energy, but since it is simply working right now, I just leave it alone.

    Misty Houston

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  13. Oh my gosh...you guys are rocking these responses!!

    Karen--I think you manage those little tykes pretty darn well, and if frozen pizza is dinner, then so be it! I've seen you cook "real" food, so I know it can be done. :o)

    Mindy--Thanks for coming by and commenting!! Sounds like you have your hands full but have a good game plan and outlook. Hope we can meet up soon.

    Misty--Hey girl! Thanks for commenting. If your "boss" weren't so darn demanding, you would have it easier, right?? Ha! (Hey, did you get that last batch done yet?? Just kidding!!) I'm sure it's way nice to have Russ home to help some days...and he cooks. Can't beat that!

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