Lie back and float

Do you ever feel like you consistent answer for “how have things been?” is always “Oh gosh, it’s been crazy lately!” ?  Because I feel like at some point this must not be considered “crazy” anymore, but instead, it is just the new normal.   This is the way it’s going to be.  Maybe if I accept it as ordinary, it won’t seem so exhausting. 

That’s probably some active denial right there.

We’re here. We’re surviving.  I’m tired, but breathing.  The girls are good, as good as toddlers are when they are…well…being classic toddlers.  There is the daily whining and the fits that come out of nowhere and seem completely unprovoked, but they’re healthy and generally happy, so I’ll keep moving forward. 

I’ve managed to get into several new things that I didn’t plan on, and clearly didn’t say “NO!” to.  I’m a part of a community workgroup for the school district to figure out how to make recommendations on what things need to be cut to balance the budget this year.  Very interesting.  Sure to be trying, but I like that it makes me think, and it causes me to use my brain in a way that I haven’t had to do in a while.  I was recommended for this by someone who I clashed with initially, but she asked if I would participate because she felt I had “a (pause) strong (pause) voice.”  And I’m pretty sure she wasn’t talking about how I can verbally project across a room.  She was trying to say nicely that when I want something (especially related to my girls, something in their best interest) that I will be firm and consistent until that is achieved.  I’m taking it as a good thing. Some people have other ways of saying that, but I try to stay in the “Rated G” category.

I’m getting ready to start a new weekly morning Bible Study, a Beth Moore series, and it’s certainly going to challenge me, which is a good thing.  There are several possibilities of other activities on the horizon that I’m thinking about, praying about, and looking eagerly for direction.  Making right choices is hard.  Sometimes there is no clear “right” way to go, and I don’t like those so much.

There are also a few “hot button” topics that I have started blogging about in my head, but they’ve yet to make it to the keyboard.  I’ve been discussing them with some very wise people, and I’m finding that I’m not as alone in some of these perspectives as I’d thought.  So I’m interested to get them out and see how it goes… they won’t be greatly popular, but it might be something to cause us to ponder a little.  And that’s always a positive in my book.

Now, we keep truckin’. My counselor/therapist/advisor has given me some good assignments for homework this week.  Ones that will bring a great deal of discomfort at first, but I hope will prove to be immensely helpful in the end. 

The best things are often difficult, not gained easily.

If we are not willing to work hard, change, persevere, and sacrifice, the things we love most, the things we value and need, they may be lost. 

Life isn’t easy.  And that’s ok.  I’m still keeping my head above water, even if sometimes I just have to stop kicking and lie back and float.