Friday, August 31, 2007

Strangely numb

I don't really know what to say about this, but I keep thinking about it, so I'll just jot down my thoughts. I'll not use names to protect the privacy of the family at this time.

This morning about 8:30 am a good friend K called to tell me that another good friend's(BD) twin brother(BT), who was an acquaintance, took his own life earlier this morning. His father (BB), who works with both brothers in their business, entered their shop to find him. I don't know much about the situation in detail, but I do know that BT had been having a very hard time for the past year or so in many ways. I would occasionally get reports via friends about this or that, and it was sad to hear the troubles...

We haven't seen BD and his wife D much in the past year except to say hello at church, but we keep up on what's happening with them through mutual friends and such. I actually got an email from D two days ago saying she'd like to do lunch or something. We used to be in a small group from church with them, back in our younger and free-er days, and we spent alot of time together. When BD and D moved into their first house as a new family after their first son was born, we all went and painted like crazy. BT was there too and I enjoyed getting to know him a little. I saw him at church with his two children often, and we'd say the little, "Hi How are ya" kind of thing. More recently I had heard that he'd been struggling with several situations, some out of his control, and many of us had been praying for him. I hadn't seen him around in a few months until this past Sunday, just 5 days ago. He sat directly behind me at church, next to BD and D, and I noticed it and thought it was good to see him there again. After church, I made a point to say hello to him specifically, and he responded politely. A few minutes later in the common area I saw him with his kids, both of whom were clamoring to tell him something exciting. I thought it was good to see them here together again and how much those kids obviously adored him. I'm not honestly sure how old they are, boy J and girl K, maybe 8 and 6, maybe younger.

But this morning, when K called to tell me what had happened, I just felt strangely numb. I feel like I knew him, yet I didn't know him well. He was only about 32, I think. I always felt a little drawn to him because his personality reminded me alot of several friends in high school and, mischievous. K said D had called her and asked her to let us and other friends know. D had said that BB had found BT, he called BD who had understandably reacted with a horror I can't even imagine. They were getting ready at that time to go tell their mother (R). I know the parents also, BB and R, as they also attend our church, and I cringe at the thought of R taking this news. And then they were calling BT's ex-wife, as she has the kids. What in the world do you say to them? How do you explain that the dad they thought the world of is gone? just like that... I hope they don't hear the details for years to come.

All this happened not 3 miles from my house. And as I've just sat in the quiet this morning, looking out at the beautiful day it is--sunny, cooler than it's been, breezy--I just think how fast things can change in our lives. How amazing it is that every minute there is pain somewhere, sometimes so very close, and if we weren't told about it, we'd never know.

So take a minute today to offer prayers for J and K especially, and for strength for this family. They are a strong family of faith with great support around them, but they are human, and this will be a horribly difficult weekend, following what has been, I'm sure, the worst day of their lives.

Lord, please surround J and K with the most comforting and supportive people today. Give wisdom to their mother and the rest of the family as they try to console these precious children. Send extra angels to their bedsides tonight so that they may rest in your love. Amen.


  1. I'm sorry.

    So true about the pain hiding around the corner. I'll be thinking of them all, especially the kids.

  2. So sad :( Your friends family is in my prayers

  3. Just checked out Braska's blog and went to yours and read the story -- indeed, it's very sad. We'll join you in prayer.

  4. That is very sad. Suicide is tough for the survivors. It's just so senseless.

  5. I'm sorry.

    Senseless act.

    Sending blessings and prayers.



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