Monday, July 13, 2009

One small step toward motherhood

I'm sitting here at the public library. My girls are next to me in the stroller. We've spent time reading in the big chair in the preschool section. Braska had a ball with the space to crawl in and the play table with the beads on the metal spirals (Don't know what that is called.) She showed off her fine motor skills in ways I didn't know she could. We've picked up a few Baby Signing Time videos from the kids DVD section. (She's addicted, Braska is.) Now we sit at the little cafe-looking area for wi-fi-ers, and we're waiting for M to call to say he's done with the council meeting he has to work a couple times a month. Then we'll go pick him up and head home.

This is big. You might not think so, but it is.

So many of you are great mothers. You take your kids on trips and experiences. You go to cultural places and lots of play venues. I generally prefer to stay home these days.

I'm a mom. Moms can be found everywhere. It doesn't take much to be a mom. But going to the library, spending time reading and letting the toddler roam around. Enjoying the semi-quiet. Mothers do this. Good moms, you might call them. Their kids grow up to say, "My mother was great when we were young." That's in contrast to "My mom was always late and scattered." I've never considered myself able to wear the "mother" label other than in fact only, medically, that is. But I have enjoyed watching Braska love this place. I've liked seeing the two of them light up at all the stuff to see. We need to get out of the house more, and this might just be our free ticket.

I know, I might be nuts. But it feels like a peek at real family life. Outside the house. And there's not a TV on or a dog barking incessantly.

Here's to working toward motherhood! Ciao!

4 comments:

  1. Hey whatever your motherhood looks like right now is ok. Don't sweat it!

    I'm so afraid that I'll have the late/scattered label for awhile. I think I would rather be staying at home right now, but somehow things just are busy. Enjoy your time at home. But that is great you had a great time when you ventured out!

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  2. I got that feeling at the zoo weekend before last...Artie had just been 'inside too long' since being sick again and we needed to get out. I want to be one of those "my mom was great" moms but fear I will fall short. I wonder how our library would be a good place for loud little boys?

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  3. I think there are moments every mom feels like she's falling short of the mom she wants to be. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

    I have been doing better connecting with Lizzy as she gets older. I wanted to be a mom who cuddled her baby, but was doing well to get dressed every day. Cuddling just wasn't one of those things I could do when she was a baby. But it's gotten better, I've gotten better, and Lizzy and I have a great time together these days. She thinks I'm a great mom now. At least most of the time. There are always the moments when I'm "mean mommy". :-)

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  4. Motherhood Smotherhood. The only thing I know about motherhood is that no matter what you do, you will regret it. And if you don't, well you just haven't waited long enough.

    No, really though. I was a great mom until my kids grew up. Now, I wonder how they survived all my missteps, lost opportunities, lack of planning, stupid errors in judgement and such. I love them dearly, but expect them all to end up in some serious counseling.

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