Sunday, February 12, 2012

Restore the sparkle

The sermon this morning at church referenced the stages of grief, talking about the “blessed are those who mourn” Beatitude. It was a good sermon.  Once it’s posted on the media page for the church, I’ll link it.  And if you’re around much, you know that’s not a common thing for me.  It just struck me today. 

My life is full of good things.  There are lots of people who have many more reasons to be unhappy at times.  And it’s not like every day is a big sad cloud.  I don’t mean that.  But I’ve had to admit lately that there are definitely things that are weighing on me more than I realized.  Some from long ago, some more recent.

I’ve not experienced a loss like a death. He talked about the various things we grieve, and how it might look in our lives.  And it made sense. I have had major loss, life change, a crushing blow or three or four.  There are things to grieve deeply. Who knew… I’m still bouncing around between anger and depression and shock… but rarely do I land on acceptance.  And I thought I was right at home in acceptance.

The passage that hit me… from Psalm 13 (NLT).  David cries out, wondering where God is, asking why He left him.  And then he says… “Restore the sparkle to my eyes…” 

What a great way to say it. Sparkle. My sparkle is mostly gone. The things that used to be my security, the light when many things were dim, what brightened my day, are often the things that burden me most. The sparkle that’s left is just reflecting off the light in my girls. So thankful for them even when they are being challenging little divas.

But don’t miss the end of that Psalm…
5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
      I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the LORD
      because he is good to me.

No matter what.  No matter what, the Lord is good.  He never changes. Things may not look like I would have drawn them out to be, but that does not reflect on God’s goodness. 

So I’ve added that to my prayers.  Restore the sparkle to my eyes… and really, simply asking is the beginning.

2 comments:

  1. RK, you are the sparkle for other people. You big smile welcoming other parents to the journey of raising a child with T21 makes a different in our lives. I remember the first time I met you. You inspired me and I am not for fact to other parents, too. A few months ago, I met a lady who knows you and she is in the process of adopting a baby with T21. She was very inspired for you.

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  2. I too have had that Psalm speak deeply to me. Thank you for sharing it now; I needed it again. Praying for you as well.

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