Skip to main content

Restore the sparkle

The sermon this morning at church referenced the stages of grief, talking about the “blessed are those who mourn” Beatitude. It was a good sermon.  Once it’s posted on the media page for the church, I’ll link it.  And if you’re around much, you know that’s not a common thing for me.  It just struck me today. 

My life is full of good things.  There are lots of people who have many more reasons to be unhappy at times.  And it’s not like every day is a big sad cloud.  I don’t mean that.  But I’ve had to admit lately that there are definitely things that are weighing on me more than I realized.  Some from long ago, some more recent.

I’ve not experienced a loss like a death. He talked about the various things we grieve, and how it might look in our lives.  And it made sense. I have had major loss, life change, a crushing blow or three or four.  There are things to grieve deeply. Who knew… I’m still bouncing around between anger and depression and shock… but rarely do I land on acceptance.  And I thought I was right at home in acceptance.

The passage that hit me… from Psalm 13 (NLT).  David cries out, wondering where God is, asking why He left him.  And then he says… “Restore the sparkle to my eyes…” 

What a great way to say it. Sparkle. My sparkle is mostly gone. The things that used to be my security, the light when many things were dim, what brightened my day, are often the things that burden me most. The sparkle that’s left is just reflecting off the light in my girls. So thankful for them even when they are being challenging little divas.

But don’t miss the end of that Psalm…
5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
      I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
6 I will sing to the LORD
      because he is good to me.

No matter what.  No matter what, the Lord is good.  He never changes. Things may not look like I would have drawn them out to be, but that does not reflect on God’s goodness. 

So I’ve added that to my prayers.  Restore the sparkle to my eyes… and really, simply asking is the beginning.

Labels:

Comments

  1. RosaFebruary 13, 2012 at 6:08 AM

    RK, you are the sparkle for other people. You big smile welcoming other parents to the journey of raising a child with T21 makes a different in our lives. I remember the first time I met you. You inspired me and I am not for fact to other parents, too. A few months ago, I met a lady who knows you and she is in the process of adopting a baby with T21. She was very inspired for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. RuthannFebruary 13, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    I too have had that Psalm speak deeply to me. Thank you for sharing it now; I needed it again. Praying for you as well.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting!! I only ask that we all keep it positive, respectful, and clean. Comment moderation is on for now. (As this is my blog, I reserve the right to delete any comment I deem inappropriate for any reason.) If you use the anonymous option, be sure to sign your name. Thanks!!

Make it a great day!!

Popular posts from this blog

31 for 21: What to say

I have encountered plenty of people who ask "How old is she?" when Braska and I are out together here and there. They always guess her age about 5 months younger than she is, but that's ok, since that's what size she is. I have said several times that I can imagine it will bother me a bit more, although still not a huge deal, when she turns one next month and I see their reaction to that, as she still is in her car seat/carrier when we're in a restaurant or in a store since she doesn't sit up. Today, I met some friends for brunch. The waitress was a nice enough, very young girl, and she started cooing at Braska right away. That's nice. I don't mind, Braska likes the attention, and I'm proud of my cutie. The waitress asked her age, and I told her 11 months. She then said, "But she's not walking yet?" as she noticed that she was up to the table in her car seat/carrier. I just agreed and said, "Not yet." She said she h
11 comments
Read more

Little call, big letters

This will make more sense to you DS moms and families out there... I apologize for the cryptic nature, but you'll have to trust my reasoning. Braska had a lab draw on Tuesday last week. The GI called me Wednesday and said there were some significantly elevated levels in the results. Ok fine. Not like we've never had an abnormal lab. But then he used *those* words...the C word and the L word. Said he'd be talking to hem/onc. We needed to go redraw on Friday morning. We didn't freak or anything, but when I hung up the phone, I thought, "Wow, so that's what it's like the first time they mention it." We took her for her draw again on Friday morning, and we figured everything was fine since we got no call over the weekend. Yesterday I checked in with them. Dr. R confirmed that everything was clear, almost in a "weird way," but they checked with the lab to make sure it was a viable result. All is well. Follow up in 6 months as usual unle
17 comments
Read more

Can I get a do-over?

If you are in need of a laugh at another's expense, I invite you to read on... really, it's totally ok. I can take it. This might end up long, but I wanna remember this special day. Oh so special... Today is my first day to have both girls and be on my own. Yeah, it's been two weeks, but I'm apparently slow at learning how to deal with this kind of thing. I knew it would be a challenge, but I thought with starting way early, we could make it. The quick ending is that we did make it...but that's not really the whole story. Kinlee's been sleeping til about 9 am or so after getting up twice in the night. That's ok, I'm dealing with it. But since Braska is supposed to be at school at 10 am on Mondays, I thought I better not sleep in like I prefer, and instead, I should get up and get things moving earlier to be sure we're on time. Not a problem, since Braska decided to be up twice last night in addition to Kinlee's two times. One time overlapped...so
25 comments
Read more